


Don't Get Me Wrong

by shessocold



Series: I Told I'd Always Love You, I Always Did, I Always Will [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Crushes, Drinking, Established Relationship, First War with Voldemort, M/M, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), POV Remus Lupin, Propositions, Sexual Fantasy, Threesome - M/M/M, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 16:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14023731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: Sirius is not blind.





	Don't Get Me Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> ARTISTS / WRITERS  
> a new 150 hr challenge awaits:  
> "haunted trousers"  
> interpret in any way you like

“Sorry, Black, but I'm with Remus on this one,” says Caradoc, shaking his head, and he takes another swig of his beer. “Haunted trousers are a real thing, yes, but the way you tell it – I'm pretty sure that 'counterjinxing' was _not_ what your mother was doing to your father. Again, I'm sorry.”

Sirius laughs loudly, his beautiful head thrown back in genuine hilarity. Remus laughs too, grateful for Caradoc's dry humour and his insistence that they join him and the Prewett brothers for a couple of rounds at the pub. Things have been so grim, lately, so _scary_ , that Remus sometimes forgets that 'fun' is still a concrete possibility. They don't go out much these days. 

“Blimey, Dearborn, you'll give the poor boy a complex,” says Gideon, in mock concern. 

“Nah, Gid, he deserves to know the truth, he's a grown wizard – is he not, Remus?” says Caradoc, in a tone that makes Remus' stomach swoop pleasantly. _That's right,_ he wants to say, _I would know. I would know better than anybody else. I get to take him home, you see._

“Well, he has his moments,” he says instead, to general laughter. Caradoc winks at him. 

** 

“Dearborn fancies you.” 

“He does not,” says Remus, amused, as he washes his hands. “Not everybody likes the same things you do, Pads, as your recent attempt at menu planning should have taught you.” 

“Dragon pudding is a delicacy, it's not my fault if you twits are too unrefined to appreciate it – and I guarantee Prongs will come crawling back, once he realizes he'll have to plan his own surprise birthday party if he doesn't have me to do it for him. We'll see who's laughing then.” 

“That's... that's not how surprise parties work, love,” says Remus, grinning. “Say, do you also have to piss, or did you follow me to the loo just to chat?” 

“I followed you here because I can,” says Sirius, leaning against the wall, an impish look on his handsome face. “Because you're _my_ man.” 

Remus snorts. 

“Really?” 

Sirius grins. 

“I have half a mind to give you a love bite, too. Give poor old Dearborn a nice visual for when he goes home and has a wank over you, _Remus_. I bet he wishes it could be him here with you now.” 

“I mean, who wouldn't – me drying my hands on my trousers, greatest spectacle on Earth.” 

“I'm looking forward to getting back home, Moony. I have plans for you.” 

Remus smirks. 

“I hope they don't involve any dragon pudding.” 

** 

Caradoc isn't quite as handsome as Sirius is (nobody is quite as handsome as Sirius is), but he's definitely easy on the eye – tall and lean, with very blue eyes and a smile that lights up his whole face every time Remus says something even mildly amusing. Maybe Sirius is right, after all. Maybe Caradoc really does fancy him, Remus, improbable as the idea sounds. Maybe all the really good-looking blokes in the Order have a thing for shabby werewolves with slightly crooked noses. 

“Don't keep the joke to yourself, Lupin,” says Fabian, his freckled face flushed from drinking. “Or are you just really pissed? You're grinning like a loon.” 

“He can't be drunk, he's been sipping Coca-Cola all evening,” says Caradoc. “The barman looked like he wanted to spit in my face when I went to get another round. Coca-Cola! Are you sure you're not just a cleverly disguised first year, Remus?” 

“Trust me, he's not,” says Sirius, his hand on Remus' thigh. Remus doesn't think he has ever heard him speak in this particular tone around other people – it's generally a prelude to some very enjoyable, very private activity. He has a brief, thrilling mental flash of Sirius reaching across him to kiss Caradoc on the mouth... Sirius' pale fingers tangled in Caradoc's blond hair... Caradoc's hand on Remus' other thigh, maybe, even, both men slowly working their way towards his cock... but mainly the idea of watching them kiss, aggressively, antagonistically, fighting over him... 

“Well, Fab, I think we should get going,” says Gideon. “Early morning tomorrow. Are you coming, Dearborn?” 

“Yeah, er, you go ahead,” says Caradoc, caught off-guard, and he tears his eyes away from Sirius' smouldering gaze. “I want to finish my pint,” he offers, but Remus is pretty sure that he knows the real reason why he doesn't want to stand up just yet. He has a similar problem himself. 

“Suit yourself,” says Fabian. “Lupin, Black, always a pleasure. See you at the next meeting.” 

** 

“Remus, Sirius, wait,” says Caradoc, as they dip into the alley behind the pub to Disapparate safely. 

“Yes?” says Sirius, still in that peculiar voice he used earlier, his hand in the back pocket of Remus' trousers. 

“I was wondering if, er, if you had a cigarette to spare.” 

“Of course,” says Sirius, politely, and he produces a pack from inside his jacket. “Do you need a light?” 

“No, thanks, I'll use my wand,” says Caradoc, and then, after a pause, “all right, I'll just come right out and say it: how about I follow you home, and we drink some more, and then, I don't know, we see what happens?” 

Sirius glances sideways at Remus. Remus shrugs. Sirius grins. Caradoc finishes lighting his cigarette. Sirius takes his hand out of Remus' pocket and steps closer to Caradoc. Remus bites his lip. Caradoc closes his eyes, his handsome face alive with anticipation. Remus tries his best not to laugh. 

“No, _Caradoc_ , thanks, I think we'll pass,” says Sirius, in a very pleasant tone, and he steals the cigarette back from between Caradoc's lips. “You see, I really, _really_ don't like to share. Thanks for asking, though! Moony – let's go home, dear.”

**Author's Note:**

> Lol poor Caradoc, that was pretty mean of Sirius. At least let him have the cigarette!
> 
> Dragon pudding is black pudding made with dragon blood -- green pudding, if you will. It tastes awful.
> 
> You can find an alt-canon sequel to this story [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14034759), if you *do* want to see them have a threesome.


End file.
